Learnings from 1 year of MBA

1. You don’t learn anything new, except that chaos they call statistics (rhymes with sadistics), and probably a little of economics.
2. The fact that your college has a prerequisite that only engineers can apply notwithstanding, all your classmates, the other section guys, your seniors, your super seniors, the professors, the attendants, the mess waiters, the security folks – ALL, tend to be engineers.
3. First there is God (the same ones you prayed fervently to during you CAT results days), then there is cricket, very next in the list comes Microsoft Excel.
4. Your certificates count. As a dear friend* once put it, ‘Had I known that I would do a MBA, I’d have stored all my certificates, starting from the day I won my first fancy dress competition in LKG’.
5. Karma weighs heavily, especially the bad Karma. Your summer placements largely depend on how good you ‘were’ – in the past. An ongoing research with your favorite professor (whom you’ve been hounding everyday for a weekend project, just so that you could decorate your otherwise pale CV), on something as glorious and Nobel-Economics-worthy as ‘The wisdom of inclusion of former Telecom Ministers in the Anti-Corruption Lokpal Bill Formulation Committee’ gives you no great a shortlist. Someone who gold medalled his Lunglei district in the 12th standard Mizoram Education Board examinations runs away with the best offer. Past counts. Present hardly does.
6. The body clock changes. You proudly step over the Indian Standard Time, sleep at US time, wake up by Japan time and slog through the Indian Standard AND Greenwich Mean Time – everyday.
7. You find it alright to call random people up at an ungodly 2am, only to find you father shout back – “WHAT are you calling me for, at 2 midnight?”
8. You start considering the folks at McKinsey and Goldman Sachs god. Placecommers come next. Only Sachin Tendulkar perhaps, above both of them.
9. Your English improves. Only so far as the jargons are concerned. You begin to abuse that simple English word – ‘strategic’ a little too much.
10. Somehow, MBA makes you slumberous. Insomniacs in their past life (read IT and such assorted professionals) tend to sleep the most.
11. The world populace can be categorized into two – freshers and work ex folks. Doesn’t really matter which category you belong to, you always look down upon the other.
12. Wherever you go, you love to flaunt your college t-shirt. Trains, hometown, some other college fest, beach, trek…
13. Black t-shirt and blue denims work everywhere – classes, travel, rock show, pubs, wedding, social service, funeral….
14. You believe you are sensationally smart for having Ctrl C- Ctrl V’ed 70% of your assignment from Wikipedia. Soon you realize, you aren’t so smart after all, the entire batch has done the same.
15. Last, but not the least, your ppt making skills improve significantly – at a CDGR (Compounded DAILY growth rate) of 1000%.

P.S.
1. *Thanks Mainak Kanjilal aka Mac – I’ve quoted your FB wall post.
2. I understand this would be a little beyond comprehension for someone beyond the B-school fraternity. Sorry mates, for this one time.