Rebeccus Farcis

Rebeccus Farcis means "Have Fun", in err.. the yet to be discovered Martian.

Kkaun Banega Pradhan Mantri

with one comment

The great Indian comedy show is halfway through – we also call it elections. The Election Commission has banned instant Exit Polls, so the esteemed news channels now are looking at the campaigns to fill their quota of daily masala: something like this: “We are at the rally organised by the CPI(Stalinist). The candidate has just announced his trump for this elections. Every BPL family will be provided a Tata Nano. If you remember, we had covered live and exclusive only on this channel yesterday, that the Congress candidate had announced a Samsung 29 inch color TV and Tata Sky! So now it is in the hands of the general public to decide! (Reporter looking at the camera with a serious look on her face) Vote India Vote” The TV screen suddenly blares Rehman “Jai Hoooooooooooooooooooo”.

The creamiest part of the cake this elections however, seems to be in Delhi. The seat once occupied by the likes of Pandit Nehru and Shastri turned into a family home! On the way it turned a seat for musical chairs until it two old men stabilised it for a decade. This time, the bone of contention, one feels, has turned a little more attractive. Too many claimants: Manmohan Singh, Pranab Mukherjee, Sharad Pawar, Prakash Karat, Lalooji Yadav, Mulayam of course, Mayawati didi (didi as in sister), Lal Krishna Advani dada (dada as in grandfather).

Methinks, is the list long enough? America is capitalist, we are socialist. So we do what the Americans dont. They have two candidates running for the Prez, we’ll have 20! Few more PM candidates we can think of:

Ms.Katrina Kaif:

Credentials: She plays Sonia Gandhi in a new film.

Assets: Classified

Qualifications: Who cares?

Consequences: Oh yeah, we’d have to mend to constitution to accomodate a co-prime minister! This co-PM would the first shirtless democratically non-elected PM in the world. And another co-co-PM – PM in exile. This one operates on phone from Karachi-Dubai-Saudi.

Mr. Ajmal Amir Kasab

Credentials: Non military combative background.

Assets: AK-47, hand-grenades.

Qualifications: Ph.D in non-suicidal bombing from the finest madrasa.

Consequences: The Indian constitution would have to mended to accomodate a minor as its head. Indian armed forces and the NSG would get much needed rest. the 60-yr old Kashmir problem would finally be laid to rest, India and Pakistan would finally shake guns…err hands. 62 years after they split up, In-Pak would finally merge under the aegis of the Tehrik-e-Taliban Pakistan.

Mr.Velupillai Prabhakaran:

Credentials: He’s got friends in India.

Assets: Fighter planes, steamers, army.

Qualifications: Post graduate in history (the history he makes).

Consequences: Senior government officials feel that his coming to power would hamper the ties with atleast one country in our naval neighbourhood. Also, RAW officials have sent a cryptic warning to President Mr.Obama – “Beware of belts”.

Mr.Ramalinga Raju

Credentials: He sunk a honey-pot.

Assets: Intelligence Bureau is still investigating.

Qualifications: Been to jail. (His Asia Business Leader of the Year 2002 is secondary).

Consequences: Ties with the US and UK would deteriorate, there are too many clients there. Real Estate in India would be nationalised – the Prime Minister would co-own all private land in India.

Dr.Kaila (alias Shameer de Jung al Hababa)

Credentials: He’s the leader of the Somali pirates. Hijacked 385 ships (wonder if the statistics of the Maritime Society is correct).

Assets: All gold in the 385 ships and $150m ransom (again statistics might be wrong).

Qualifications: Ph.D from Jack Sparrow Institute of Navigational Sciences, Bermuda Triangle.

Consequences: Overnight, India would grow oil-rich. An overseas deputation of the NSG and Marine Commandos would result in all the US bound Saudi oil-tankers miraculously re-routed to Kandla and Mumbai.


Written by Srinivas

April 27, 2009 at 4:20 am

Posted in Uncategorized

One Response

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  1. ye continue writing like this buddy…..and it wont be soon before goons stand outside your house gently asking the passer’s by and neighbours not to see anything 😛
    Nice one doode


    April 27, 2009 at 3:35 pm

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